


The Best Booty in the World

by haekass



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Crack, EunHae Hols Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3816283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haekass/pseuds/haekass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyukjae was a pirate, and as a pirate he was a simple enough man. Give him baubles, gold, and the best booty a pirate could ask for and he was content. And then he got a literal compass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Booty in the World

“What do ya mean it's a  _special_  compass?” Hyukjae sneered. He was getting tired of the riddles this vendor was spewing and if he wasn't sure she was a sorceress of some sort, he would have already walked away. He was a terror on the seas, but he wasn't going to be known for killing random people on land, as that tended to hurt his ability to get supplies.

 

“It finds what you're looking for, nothing more and nothing less, as many things as what you want.”

 

Hyukjae stroked his chin, feeling the barest hints of stubble trying to creep out of his skin, and set the compass on the counter. “And you are asking for what in return?”

 

Song Qian had a very beautiful smile when she chose to use it. “One small thing, Captain... I want a jar of dirt from where it is that you choose to look for.”

 

“A jar of  _dirt_?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Just any old dirt from where I go?”

 

“I'm sure you'll know the dirt when you see it.”

 

Hyukjae thought it over for a moment, tapping his chin. “All right then, we have a deal.”

 

Song Qian produced a small ceramic jar. “Here you go. Fill it with dirt and the compass is yours to keep. Just one small thing about the compass...”

 

“Yes yes, I know, it's a special compass that takes me to what I want.”

 

“That and...”

 

He looked over as the door to the shop burst open.

 

“Oh good there you are,” Heechul sniffed, tossing his hair out of his face. “We're ready to cast off as soon as you're on board. Song Qian,” he greeted with a nod of his head.

 

“All right, we're done here anyway. Always a pleasure doing business with you,” Hyukjae said, grabbing the small jar and the compass. Scooting out the door on Heechul's heels, he thought he heard something about being literal, but shrugged it off.

 

“What is that?” Heechul asked.

 

“Compass that will take me to what I want, apparently. She just wants this jar full of dirt in return.”

 

“A jar of  _dirt_?” Heechul repeated. “No souls or hearts of enemies, just  _dirt_?”

 

Hyukjae shrugged. “That's exactly what she said, and in plain enough language that there's no hooks.”

 

“Well what do you know, you can be smart on occasion.”

 

Hyukjae's lips twitched upwards. “That's no way to speak to your captain.”

 

“What are you going to do, have me arrested? You're still my cousin until we're back on the ship.”

 

Hyukjae snorted, his fingers caressing the covering of the compass. Being a pirate, he already knew what he wanted. Booty and baubles galore, a good fuck, and a decent amount of alcohol and food. Unable to resist the urge, he flipped the cover open on the compass, wondering if it just  _worked_  or what. Frowning a bit when the needle lazily spun around in circles, he looked up, then back down. “I want to go to my ship.”

 

The compass shuddered to a halt, then immediately swung to a direction. “Hyung, let's try this.”

 

Heechul looked over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows. “What is this with you suddenly using your brains? Testing new shit out before we're out on water? Who are you and what have you done with my idiot cousin?”

 

Hyukjae smiled. “Is it so hard to think that maybe your smarts are rubbing off?”

 

“Yes, but I like it.”

 

The compass guided them directly to the ship, which was bobbing gracefully in the water. “Quartermaster, make ready for us to sail,” he called as he stepped on board.

 

“Yeah yeah whatever,” Kyuhyun called back. “You heard him you lazy asses, get us ready.”

 

Hyukjae shook his head. Kyuhyun's insolence was his own fault – they'd been attacked when Kyuhyun was barely on his third day on board and had been gravely injured. Hyukjae had actually seen the hit that Kyuhyun took, as he'd gotten grazed as well, but he'd just assumed that Kyuhyun had seen it as well and would have ducked. Hyukjae had felt guilt – a rare emotion for him – over Kyuhyun being so close to death that he'd sworn that as long as Kyuhyun got better, he would have the leeway of speaking to Hyukjae as a familiar friend. Kyuhyun had exercised that privilege readily and often, to the point where people who didn't know himself or the crew would think that Kyuhyun was the captain.

 

Placing the ceramic jar in a padded box – he wasn't so foolish as to try and cross a sorceress by just leaving her payment jar where it could be broken – he looked at the compass again. It was spinning lazily around again, probably waiting on directions.

 

“I want to find the best booty a pirate could ever want,” he said to the compass. The needle spun rapidly a couple of times before pointing off to the setting sun. “All right then. Be sure and find me lots of treasures along the way to the big one, and we'll get along just fine.”

 

The needle wavered slightly, adjusting its position in a seeming agreement.

 

Bounding out of his cabin, he arrived on deck, waving Gunhee away from the wheel. “All right crew, let's go load ourselves up with booty!”

 

Resounding cheers met him, and he could almost feel the press of gold, silver, and jewels against his fingers of the booty he'd told the compass to find. Flipping the compass open, he spun the wheel to follow the needle.

 

 

They'd found treasure after treasure, the smaller chunks seeming to whet the crew's appetite for more and encouraging trust for the decisions of the captain who had seemed a bit off, following a compass that didn't even bother to point north. That trust had been needed as Hyukjae had steered them to the area no one dared to sail. Though the crew was nervous and jumping at the slightest thing, they'd been unaccosted through their journey through Graveyards of Ships, and the compass had guided them faithfully through the Sea of Weeds, which had been known to wreck ships easily. They were coming up towards the Isle of Song, another dangerous area, but the compass was directing them directly for the Isle.

 

Deciding to trust the compass for now, Hyukjae kept them firmly on course, but he'd taken precautions against the legends of men going mad from the songs, and confined the majority of the crew to their bunks, locking the doors from the outside. Only himself, Heechul, Kyuhyun, Jackson, Gunhee, Taemin and Jongin – the absolute bare minimum for crew to run the ship – were on deck, and he had a firm grip on the wheel. Jongin, being the smallest and lightest, was providing lookout for them, and Hyukjae only looked up when Jongin cried that there was land ahead.

 

As they slowly sailed closer to the jagged spires that surrounded the Isle of Song, the songs they'd only heard snatches of on the wind grew louder. Only Jackson, Gunhee, and Jongin seemed to show any reaction to the singing at all, but they were all also very quick at snapping out of their near trance when yelled at, refocusing on what they had been doing.

 

Kyuhyun was getting visibly irritated, huffing and muttering to himself as they grew closer, while Hyukjae himself was just getting bored trying to get them close enough to row ashore. They had just passed the jagged rings when the singing stopped.

 

“Hey what the fuck!”

 

Hyukjae turned his head to side, only to blink at the woman who was perched on the back of the spike. “Did you need something?”

 

“Yeah why the fuck didn't you crash? You should all be in tiny pieces already.” Her short hair swung around as she gestured towards the spikes. “What the fuck you not interested in any of us or something? The singing always works!”

 

Hyukjae looked around, seeing at least four more women – all perched on the backs of the spikes, looking irritated. “Yeah no thanks, not my type. Might want to talk to Jackson though, he's the only one unattached that has any interest in women if you're wanting a fuck.”

 

Jackson shyly waved, the tips of his ears turning red at the sudden attention.

 

Taemin, who sensed the calmer waters, had lounged on the railing, his leg hanging off. “That was some nice singing though, ladies.”

 

“What are you wanting to join us or something?”

 

Taemin shook his head. “Sorry, born into a female body, but definitely not one,” he gently corrected.

 

“Oh, okay, no problem, my mistake. So who the hell are you men and what are you doing aside from interrupting our practice?”

 

“You call that practice?” Kyuhyun sniped. “Someone was singing flat as anything.”

 

The short haired one rolled her eyes. “Hyorin, quit working on your range!”

 

“Says you Gain,” a well endowed woman replied back, folding her arms under her breasts.

 

“We're  _here_  because this magic compass guided us here in our search for the best booty a pirate could ask for,” Hyukjae finally answered.

 

The short haired one rolled her eyes expressively, her winged eyeliner making the movement even more noticeable. “Whatever, go on, we're getting back to our practice.”

 

Hyukjae nodded his head. “Thank you. Mind singing away from my boat? I still need a full crew to get out of here and I don't want to come back to a good chunk of my crew drowned.”

 

The five sirens laughed. “Yeah sure. They come over here without our permission though and they get what they deserve.”

 

Hyukjae nodded his head. “Sounds like a deal. Kyuhyun, go grab Teukie from below. Taeminnie, I'm grabbing you and your boy as well to go ashore.”

 

Taemin cheered and hopped off the railing, easily climbing to the lookout post.

 

“Hyung, make sure the crew behaves.”

 

Heechul flipped his hair. “As if they have a choice with me running things until you get back.”

 

“Jackson, get in the boat and make it ready, I'll be right back. As soon as everyone's in, let's cast off for our booty.”

 

 

The island was small, but they still had to walk a ways in from the coast before they located the sprawling, expansive fortress that was starting to be grown over with jungle.

 

“Is this it?” Jongin asked quietly.

 

Hyukjae closed and pocketed the compass. “I think this is it. Be alert men.”

 

Everyone drew their weapons of choice, Hyukjae easily taking the lead as he shoved the gates open. He could hear music with a strong beat as they moved towards the palace set up in the center of a clearing around the fortress walls, and he was curious, to say the least.

 

As soon as the door was open, Hyukjae stood completely still in surprise.

 

He was expecting piles of gold and jewels, not a young man dressed in tight black pants with gold zippers curving invitingly over two plump cheeks and a loose shirt dancing with his eyes closed and humming along to the music.

 

“Where's the booty?” Jackson said loudly, making the man in front of them jerk to a stop. “There doesn't look like there's any treasure!”

 

“Excuse you, but the legend about this place doesn't say  _treasure_  it's about the best  _booty_  in the world and honestly, have you  _seen_  my ass? My booty is the best treasure you could ever ask for,” the man replied, folding his arms across his chest.

 

Hyukjae suddenly started laughing, his brain connecting the dots. Song Qian must have been trying to tell him that the compass took things literally – and his request to find the best  _booty a pirate could ask for_  was taken very literally, and the compass had led him to a man with a gorgeous ass. “I'll have to agree with you on that. What's your name?”

 

“Donghae, what's yours? Captain Gorgeous?” Donghae had a smirk curling his lip, and a flirtatious gleam in his eyes.  
  


“Hyukjae, but you can call me gorgeous all you want.”

 

“Ugh, I'm going to go look for stuff before I throw up,” Kyuhyun said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Yeah why don't you go do that Kyuhyun, all of you spread out and search this place. This treasure is all for me.” He didn't miss the slight coloring of Donghae's cheeks or the little bite to his lip. “Assuming my treasure agrees with me, that is,” he said quietly as he walked closer to Donghae.

 

“No objections at all,” Donghae replied just as quietly as he stepped closer to Hyukjae. “I've been here and all alone for a while. No company except for when I go down to the beach to hang out with the ladies...”

 

“Sounds lonely. How'd you get here?” Hyukjae asked, getting his hand finally on what he definitely agreed was the best booty in the world.

 

Donghae shrugged. “Dunno. I woke up here one day. Sunmi told me that when one treasure gets claimed and is off the island, the island pulls another here and erases them from memory. I don't even think Hyosung knows how it works, and she knows  _everything_.”

 

Hyukjae hummed, only half paying attention to anything other than the press of Donghae's body against his, and at the first brush of his lips against Donghae's, everything flew out of his mind. “So where's your room?” he whispered.

 

Donghae smiled brightly and pressed closer to Hyukjae. “I've been in the gold room.”

 

“Gold room, hmm? Well, given that I  _am_  a pirate, I think I'd like to see this room.”

 

Donghae giggled and dragged Hyukjae with him.

 

 

Jackson wandered down to the beach, needing to get away from the loud cries that were echoing through the palace. He did  _not_  need to know that much about his captain. Kyuhyun had already stormed off, muttering to himself about the grossness of sex, and they'd all found an excuse to escape the palace as soon as possible.

 

“Oh you're back.”

 

Jackson looked up at the flat greeting. “Uh yeah... Captain found Donghae...”

 

All of the sirens immediate snorted and giggled, two of them falling on top of each other in hysterical laughter. Even Gain, who didn't seem to ever be pleased by much was smiling.

 

“So how long are you ladies here for?”

 

“Forever,” the one with long dark hair and ruby red lips answered, with a shrug of her tattooed shoulder. “It's kind of our island.”

 

“And you don't want to leave?”

 

“Why should we? The island has everything we could ever want. Well, assuming that it wanders down to the beach,” Gain said, seemingly more relaxed as she soaked up the afternoon sun.

 

Hyorin sighed, lounging on the sand. “I know. We haven't seen a cow in  _forever_  and I want steak.”

 

“I can go get one for you,” Jackson found himself saying.

 

The tall, willowy one snorted. “And you want what in return?” she asked with a roll of her eyes.

 

Jackson shrugged and stood. “Nothing. I'll go get a cow for you if you want, I don't require anything in return.”

 

Hyorin looked at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly parted in surprise. He cheerfully waved and headed back inland, on the hunt for a cow.

 

 

Donghae's mouth formed a perfect O as he stepped onto the boat, and Hyukjae smirked, remembering Donghae's lips doing the same thing around his dick earlier.

 

“Oh he's cute, where'd you find him?” Heechul asked.

 

“He was what we were looking for all along,” Hyukjae replied with a smirk. “Oh yeah, we also have a decent amount of gold and jewels to keep the crew happy. Donghae was sleeping on it.”

 

“And you too, I'm guessing.”

 

Hyukjae merely hummed an agreement. The sirens were waving from the beach, having finished their outdoor singing practice – and apparently very pleased with Jackson for a cow, Hyukjae still wasn't sure about that – and he waved back as he dragged Donghae up to the wheel.

 

“Take care of him!” Gain yelled. “He gets lonely easily!”

 

“I won't have to worry about that anymore!” Donghae yelled back. Hyukjae grinned and flipped the compass open, watching the needle pointing directly to Donghae.

 

“All right compass, we have your former mistress' payment of dirt, now let's go find the best  _treasure_  a pirate could ask for.”

 

The compass needle didn't move.

 

“Like you're going to find a better treasure than me,” Donghae said, smirking as soon as he'd seen the needle.

 

Hyukjae snorted. “Kyuhyun get your ass up here.”

 

“What,” Kyuhyun griped, his face scrunching in confusion when Hyukjae tossed the compass at him.

 

“It won't work for me anymore, find us what we want and tell me where to go.”

 

Kyuhyun sighed. “Fine. Find me treasure, and lots of it,” he growled at the compass.

 

Hyukjae peeked over, seeing the needle pointing northeast. Grabbing Donghae, he kept his best  _booty_  pinned between the wheel and his body as the anchor was wound up and the breeze caught their sails, directing them out of the Isle of Song, and he laughed as Donghae cuddled close, his free hand landing on Donghae's gorgeous ass. “Let's go get some treasure men!”

* * *

**told ya it was crack. ^^**


End file.
